Dr. Wayne Dyer’s reputation as a master of self precedes him. His books are requisite reading for anyone headed down the often bumpy path of "Trying to be the best YOU you can be" whatever that means for YOU. There was a great article appearing on Forbes.com today that highlights some of Dr. Dyer’s teachings from his new book Inspiration (the newest release among his 29 titles).
Dr. Dyer describes the concept of reinventing oneself and how difficult it is to actually look inward instead of finding outward things to help your brain avoid the truth.
He says, "You have the power to reinvent yourself. The difficulty lies in the
objectivity and honesty you need about a very subjective
topic–yourself. You’re fairly objective about improving or upgrading things, like your car, or your stereo, or your golf clubs. Reinventing yourself
requires a similar objective assessment of the most important thing of
all. Your life. Buying a hybrid car, or a cutting-edge computer or
communication system, or changing investment choices, or even trying
out a nontraditional style of sexual relationship, are often
unconscious substitutes for the inner signals urging you to change
something about your life. It just seems easier to do something in the outer world."
Of his list of suggestions for "Accessing all the moments of your life and implementing quantum changes," I find 2 that I focus on with regularity.
Notice What You Really Want In Life
Dr. Dyer says, "Take the time to notice the moments of your life that make you smile,
laugh, feel happy, meaningful and valuable, the times you look forward
to, the times that you are so lost in a project that time vanishes."
How blissfully true! When I have these moments…I actually acknowledge them and it literally "buys me peace, happiness, and love for extended periods of time. I can literally feed off the energy from playing with my kids and lovingly laughing with my wife. By accepting that spiritual "rightness" of that moment when it’s happening, you can fill yourself with joy. Any parent (or husband and wife) knows that these moments can be interrupted shortly thereafter by the reality of married life, kids fighting, whining, crying, etc…but it’s far easier to deal with those things when you have acknowledged you’ve got what truly makes you whole in life.
Get back into balance
I encounter this lack of balance so often in life that I fear that the only people left in balance are writers of Personal Development books. Dr. Dyer describes this process of analytical "realignment".
"Thoughts and behaviors that don’t balance are the items that need your
expertise to balance them. Desiring a stressless tranquil life while
thinking, “I can’t be peaceful with so many demands being placed on
me,” is a misalignment."
In the modern era of alleged multi-tasking, crack-berries, and email overload consuming lives, so few people seem to practice this. It amazes me how difficult it is to keep balance with so many things pulling and pushing our attention here or there. I’m beginning to believe that folks like us that work at home may be the "ruling class" of business down the road. We tend to be less caught up in the day-to-day since we are not part of it. We enter it here and there and truthfully, it feels good to catch the "buzz" of the normal business world. However, I think we have the capacity to think about things, keeping the focus on what’s important..and still stopping to notice the blooming flowers, chirping birds, and daily visits from Berger the Squirrel (My boy named him Berger for reasons left to the cosmos to figure out).
Go down the list of families and friends that you interact with. How many of them seem to be in balance, calm, aligned? I’m guessing that you’ll find a large list of over tired, completely run ragged people who are stressed out from shuttling the kids, making ends meet, and just "getting through until the weekend". I know that’s the way my list was before moving to Des Moines.
I’ve found that it is much easier to maintain balance here. Maybe it’s the lack of traffic. Perhaps it’s the energy created by the change in seasons (it’s palpable), It could be the fact that it’s just easier to do everything here because there’s less people and it costs far less to manage a household. (You can find a very nice home for $150k…step up to $350k and you’re living large). However, I’m going to attribute my balance to the following which I will call for lack of a better term: My Balance Mantra.
I achieve balance in my life by focusing on what’s good and right with my wife and kids. I step outside myself by communing spiritually with my God as this sustains me. I see birds, trees, flowers, animals and activity constantly throughout each day from my home office window reminding me that life is not an office or cubicle. The cool breeze that flows into my office nourishes my soul. I stop in the moment as often as possible to dance with my kids through the house. "Make music daddy" is the siren’s call from my kids…making me launch into my best funky baseline imitation,,,watching them dance through the house without a care in the world. I sit on a patio surrounded by trees and just notice the clouds and how fast they move across the sky. Finally, my work is not work. It is the place where I channel my thinking, my creativity, and my mind. It is where I am acknowledged on many levels including monetarily for contributing my unique skills and my time.
By focusing on these things, I will keep life in order and not get pulled into improper decisions or wasted energy.