The piece exposes that GOOG toilets have Japanese style bidet heated/blow
drying seats. Carr states, "Those Japanese commodes are nice, but
it’s important to remember that they’re merely transitional devices. We’ll know
that Google has truly fulfilled its vision when the Googleplex no longer needs
toilets at all." Nice. Now there’s a VC pitch that would get some
attention. "What’s your potential market size?" Everyone.
"Who needs this product?" Everyone. "What is your
concept?"Eliminate the need to excreet waste from human body.
VC response: "Dude…are you s$!@&*#$g
But let’s remove the sigmoidoscope
targeted on Google’s ceramics lab for a moment…and examine the bigger
implications. What you are seeing here (and what Carr and commenters are
completely missing) is a glimpse into the secret to GOOG’s success. Stand
back and let this diamond of clarity emerge from your dilating…eyes.
Google’s founders have discovered what I did years ago (I have 2 of these
lovely machines in the house now)…that a sparkly clean and healthful posterior
cleanses one’s mind and fires synapses that hitherto may have been dormant,
disconnected, or misaligned.
Now anyone who knows me…recalls that I had about 15 minutes of fame when
my online Bidet company Bidets Direct was interviewed by the Kevin and Bean show
in Los Angeles a few years back. Well, Bidets Direct was my attempt to
convince the American populous that paper was not enough. Once again I was
ahead of the curve and lost momentum before I could cross the
chasm. Now I have validation from the company that is nearly omnipresent in
American homes. Only slightly fewer use GOOG than use toilet paper (but
that’s changing thanks to GOOG). Someday, we’ll all be using GOOG while
using the bidet toilet seat.
Now, I shall celebrate my incredible vision,
cleanliness, and lack of execution by mixing a grain alcohol and rainwater
cocktail. Here’s to freshness…it’s not just for breath anymore.